Projective identification usually works by stimulating fear, anxiety, guilt, or shame in the target person, and 'benefits' the projecting person by lessening those four things temporarily. These men are often found unwilling to contribute to the relationship they are in and show little or no care or respect for their partner. I still wish I had died but my children were devastated. Give it your best shot for an extended period of time and then reconsider your options. I am not in a postion to say you should stay or leave, or ask him to leave. How can he say he loves me and an hour later he locks me out of the house for weeks…….
Well, you have only a couple of options. I tried so hard to trust him. Is once a year too much to ask. Because people who give the silent treatment typically are trying to avoid uncomfortable confrontation, most of them won't resort to this, but I mention it because it's always one of the options people have for regaining control. And if you can get to a place where you are not as negatively affected, it could help you with making long term life changing decisions. Your situation is different to what I have experienced as regards silent treatment in that your silent person is schizophrenic. Have you asked him to help you not feel so upset and stressed out? If I ask please forgive me can I have a hug he will put his finger on my chest and say there…are you happy now.
She attempts to bring it up to him during dinner, only to be met with his stony silence. If you want someone to stop using silent treatment abuse, stop letting them know it upsets you. Because of this negative association, the victim then becomes easily controlled by the perpetrator because she does not want to experience the silent treatment again. Subtly Controlling Behavior The following behaviors are present in both abusive relationships, and also 'merely' unsatisfying relationships. The idea of me posting this comment is to enlighten every soul in this earth that is trying to make a relationship work- to stop trying! It is an ad hominem attack that implies the speaker is incoherent, or a dis-organized thinker. Ignoring someone in this way can be extremely hurtful.
She will forever be an ungrateful, self entitled brat. Payback was swift, but he didnt disappear. I went through this for 2. Is there a way to approach it where I can say my piece afterward knowing full well it could lead to another bout of silence, sadly? I started vomiting for six months every single day. I grew up with it like many of you and once I left home after coming of age and seeing what it is like to be around normal people I found my voice which none of them liked. If the goal was actual understanding and resolution, silencers would definitely open their mouths. I'm not saying leave or end the relationship, but with each silent treatment, reevaluate the relationship and while they are still permitted to remain a part of your life should you decide that is best , and always be self aware of what you mean to eachother.
You ought to know what you need to do to end this. It is clear that her actions contradict all of this and there is no sign of compassion, warmth, respect, understanding, empathy or any basic responses to love. Only thing I know for sure is something is wrong with our relationship and I am feeling unsure about my future life with my husband, even I wonder if it is the best solution to leave him. At the same time he is weak very weak and enabled as a child. Why on earth are you keeping him around? I wish you well with taking back more control of your own happiness. I only wish there was a guaranteed formula for initiating, speeding and completing the acceptance of a situation, learning from it and positively moving on. No doubt there will be bad days and good days but I think being both positive and practical builds resilience and is key to getting through all this and thriving.
The fault lies in them and not you. They can lead to the silences will not being so overpowering anymore and help a person feel measurably better. I too supported him during redundancy. Because it is a strong social norm not to expose conflict, it will be hard to say no for some reason the person saying no is deemed to be the one 'starting' a conflict. If he does speak to me, it's curt or he is angry with some behavior or another. My narcissistic husband was mad because he was 30 minutes late for work and he yelled at me.
I still have emotional scars from that relationship and as a damaged person I then went on to a relationship that was physically abusive. I am bit scared of it in deep down. My mom has told my daughter a lot of bad stuff about me. A man giving the silent treatment? Saze and i contacted him and tell him my problems how i lost my relationship with my lover. He is a god in his own eyes he is perfect and admits no guilt he has cheated and his family is perfect. More and more requests are made, each just slightly more demanding or less agreeable.
Sadly, once he has you snared, you soon discover that his fragile ego demands to be worshipped and adored constantly. We can,t even talk to him anymore, he outright refuses to talk or mix, he just walks by and stays in his bedroom all day and all night, this is why we have decided to call it a day, its no way of living with some one who refuses to engage with others, with a sulky deep rooted action emotional abuse living, its silly way to live each and every day. After the victim has been stonewalled, the other person is treated to a form of silence that is deafening. My advice is to continue with the above strategies and to re-double your efforts at being positive. Why Social Pain Can Live on: Different Neural Mechanisms Are Associated with Reliving Social and Physical Pain.